We all have those days. We look around and see other moms crushing it at homeschooling: their kiddos are reading The Hobbit at age 5, building Eagle Scout projects for your town, playing in the local symphony orchestra and speaking Russian.

Yep, these are all real examples that have made me feel “less than” as a homeschool mom! Meanwhile, my kiddos were making mudpies, reenacting Star Wars light saber duels and obsessively reading Garfield comics. No comparison, right?

But here’s the thing … there is no winner in the comparison game. If I am envious of other   people’s children, then I am not valuing my own children for who they are and I am not valuing myself for the homeschool mom that I am. If I try to get my children to foster gifts they don’t have (c’mon, son, you have to play the cello!), no one ends up happy and my kiddos actual gifts aren’t being nurtured. Thankfully, my feelings of inadequacy were brief and temporary (although they still flare up from time to time).

Are you wondering how to manage those feelings when they creep into your homeschool?  Here’s what works for me. When I fall into the comparison trap, I remind myself that I would have to be a completely different person to have what someone else has. I would have a different husband, different children, different parents and siblings … and let me tell you, that is a *shock* to your system to picture your life without all the people that truly matter. That shock will flip your thinking and overwhelm you with an immense feeling of gratitude.

Gratitude is crucial to avoiding envy and comparisons. Once you are grateful for the life you live and the people you love, you will easily recognize all the amazing and wonderful gifts that God has given to your family, and to you, too. Treasure those gifts and let other moms treasure their own children and their own gifts.  Share with your children how proud you are of them. Point out ways that your children let their gifts shine. Kids aren’t always aware of their gifts – they come by them so naturally – and simple praise now can help kids avoid the comparison game as they get older.

My children’s gifts are unique and worthy of my notice: thoughtfulness, friendliness, generosity, patriotism, creativity. I will continue to nurture these gifts and others that God has given. And along the way, I will keep reminding myself to nurture my own God-given gifts, too.

Homeschool Happy!